Warning: Vaguely self-pitying ramble ahead, though I end on some pretty kick-ass news.
It has not been a good few weeks for working on my secret new novel project—at all. In fact, November was absolutely my slowest writing month since I got back to Japan in September full of energy and productivity. So what happened?
Well, on one level, preparing MFA Thesis Novel for publication happened. November is the big month for manuscript prep, and I’ve been going back and forth with Vine Leaves publishers Jessica Bell and Amie McCracken, answering proofreading questions, sending materials like back cover copy and Acknowledgements, and even updating some images that appear in the text. MFA Thesis Novel is complex and has a lot of special formatting in it (I’ll post pics later!), so making sure the images were high-res enough for publication has been a major chore for this month.
Also, a slight tease—MFA Thesis Novel has a cover now, and I can’t wait to share it with you all once it’s finalized :-)
Anyway, on one level, prepping a novel for publication takes a lot of time. On another level, it’s also stressful, anxiety producing, and had me fretting over nights, weekends, and during my workday about how to handle everything.
All that stress has contributed to some serious burnout that leaves me drained, unfocused, and less productive, especially when I have to take large chunks of time to recuperate, as I did last weekend.
It’s an exciting process for sure, but damn, I’ll be glad when it’s over…
Oh Yeah, There’s One More Problem…
Remember when I talked about my new Day Job teaching university English in Yokohama and how it wasn’t that busy and I could steal away time for creative work during the workday? Turns out, I was being a tad overzealous.
To be fair, my current Day Job is far from the busiest one I’ve ever worked—the office job with the crooked boss that I had before coming to Japan was busier than this, and both paled in comparison to my first job in Japan at an English conversation school, or when I worked as a secretary at an underfunded and understaffed Catholic elementary school.
At my job now, I don’t work overtime, I sometimes sneak away early, and at least one day a week I’m able to sit down for some creative work time (usually answering emails or working on the publication prep for MFA Thesis Novel).
My problem, though, is that the responsibilities I have there still feel like too much.
I would have KILLED for a Day Job like like one ten years ago, and even five years ago it would have suited my needs pretty well. Now, though, between the Day Job and everything else, it really does feel like I have too much on my plate, and that I’m scattered in too many directions. I find it difficult to work on everything, and often cut corners with my reading, keeping in touch with family and friends, and oh yeah, working on my new novel draft.
Even though I enjoy my Day Job greatly, every day now I feel frustrated and behind because I can’t do the other things I want to do. And that frustration is starting to outweigh the satisfaction I get from teaching (d’oh!).
In weighing the Pros and Cons of my current Day Job, the list looks like this:
Pros
- Decent salary
- Paid holidays
- Good work experience
- Mental stimulation
- Fun and enjoyment of teaching
- Get to live in a cool Japanese city
Cons
- 40-hour time commitment takes away time from other things I want to be doing
- 45-minute commutes each way
- Mental and physical fatigue
The cons list is obviously wayyyyyyyy shorter, but the time and energy I spend at my Day Job is time that I could be devoting toward writing the new novel, marketing efforts for MFA Thesis Novel, and developing other things I want to be moving forward with.
Back in 2019 and 2020 I kept whiteboards in my closet where I tracked the different aspects of my life and how I was doing in each of them—things like Writing, Social Life, Money, Health and Fitness, etc. Though this system eventually grew too complex and I gave it up, it helped me think a lot about balancing all the things in life you want to do so that one or two aspects don’t overwhelm the rest.
And right now, it feels like my Day Job is doing exactly that.
Moving Forward: The Big Step
All of this ties into my post from a few weeks back about relying on a Day Job for mental stability, and how moving past that has been a major obstacle for me. I have what to me feels like a LOT of money saved up now (nearly $50,000!), and that’s money I can use to transition into a way of life that’s more centered around writing and creative work and less around Day Jobs that are only related tangentially to what I really want to be doing.
I definitely have the money to make the transition, and I’m pretty sure I’ve developed enough confidence in my working habits, achievements, and goals so that I don’t need a Day Job as a cover story to convince people I’m not a bum anymore. The one thing that’s really holding me back is my Day Job work contract, which ends on January 29th.
After that, I’m free. My plan is to come back to the States, hole up for a while, devote the majority of my energy to creative work, be ready for when MFA Thesis Novel comes out in April, and finish the fuck out of this new novel manuscript.
While my Day Job contract ends January 29th, there’s not much work to do for the last few weeks, and my regular work schedule will actually end on December 23rd—three weeks and three days after this post goes live. That’s going to be a hell of a Christmas present.
Final Thoughts
Back in 2018 I wrote about how I picked up an extra week at my old online test-grading job just because the opportunity came up. At the time I was too busy, didn’t really need the money, and had other things to focus on, and the experience sucked hard. It did teach me, though, that I didn’t need that stupid test-grading job anymore and was ready to move on with no regrets.
Maybe that’s what this Day Job has taught me too, that I’m at a point in my life where I don’t need Day Jobs anymore, that my editing work is moving toward a place where it can sustain me, that I’m finally ready to devote the majority of my time to a writing career. Before this I wasn’t sure, but now I am.
So in that sense, even though I haven’t done any novel drafting this month, I’ve been taking steps to ensure that I’ll be able to do a lot more in the future by laying the foundation for a more solid writing schedule. Some people might call that a writing cop-out (and fuck them), but to me, it feels like progress.
That’s because I’ve got my eye on the bigger picture.