The other day I was updating my CV in preparation for a part-time gig I picked up through word-of mouth. In the opening section I wanted to summarize the work I do, and after some trial and error, I came up with this:
I’m a working fiction writer and editor/writing coach with experience in EFL (English as a Foreign Language). My teaching experience extends to Japan and across cultures, while my editing work extends across both fiction and academic scholarship.
When I think about the work I’ve done, and the work I’d like to be doing in the future, this statement feels really natural to me—as in, it sums up my experience accurately, and isn’t just an exaggerated image I put down so I can get jobs.
That got me thinking more about previous years, when every time I wrote a resume or went to a job interview, I tried to craft an image of myself that the company wanted to hear.
In short: I used to lie about myself and my career goals.
Wanting a Job vs. Needing a Job
Some of my favorite posts on this blog involve how creative people portray themselves in the Day Job world, where they need sources of income that are more lucrative than their creative work alone can bring in. The catch is, though, that even though we need these Day Jobs to keep the bills paid, our hearts aren’t in them, and at the end of the day, we kind of don’t give a damn about them.
In many ways, this is the difference between a job (which just brings in money) and a career (which embodies work that takes up more of your life focus). Creative people aren’t always at a point where can make a career out of their creative work, so we take Day Jobs to bring in money while they make that transition—even though we don’t care about them.
The problem I found myself facing for most of my twenties (and into my thirties…) was that I needed paid work in the form of a Day Job, but had to convince the people hiring me that I was a “good fit.” In many ways, this translated to having to convince the people hiring that I wanted the job—even though what I really wanted was to work on my writing and get published.
And convincing employers during an interview that I really wanted their stupid Day Job to earn a paycheck and maybe gain some work experience—well, that felt like lying.
I didn’t call it lying at the time, though—I called it “dressing up my resume,” “putting on a show” or “acting eager.” In other words, creating the impression that this Day Job would really help my career, and represented a direction that I really wanted to move in (as opposed to a direction I needed to move in to pay my student loans).
I think in a lot of ways, employers are looking for this sense of want, especially in younger employees who might not have as many hard job skills. Skills are important, sure (especially in higher-level positions!), but I think a lot of companies are looking for someone who wants to be there, who’ll fit in with the work environment and won’t be driven to quit after two years.
In a less selfish sense, many companies also want to help people by giving them the jobs that will move them forward in their careers—that is, give them jobs that will point them in a direction they want to be moving in.
Problems arise, though, when people (especially creative people) just plain need a Day Job to move them on to the next stage of their careers. The jobs they really want are beyond their reach, so they seek out ones that are available, or that fit them well enough for the time being.
But what are they supposed to do during interviews when employers see through their charade and know they don’t really want to be there?
Do You Show Employers Who You Really Are, or Try to Be the Person Employers Want You to Be?
I tried to be the person employers wanted me to be at interviews for a long time. I put on awkward business casual clothes, adopted strange mannerisms, and even used a different pen because I thought it’d make me seem like a better fit. I became an actor—or, rather, a kind of liar.
This method of interviewing came to a head for me in 2017, after I realized I couldn’t work as an online test-grader anymore and needed a full-time Day Job. I was applying for an editing job at a company that handled financial reports, and they needed a strong editor to prepare these materials for clients and presentations. It was work I knew I could do easily, and that I was clearly well qualified for with my education and job experience.
During the interview, though, it seemed like the managers behind the table were less interested in my skills (which were all on my resume anyway) and more interested in how I’d fit in at their company. What were my attitudes toward work and office culture? How did I feel about working overtime? Why was I looking for editing work? What were my career goals? What were my hobbies? We spent far more time on these questions than talking about actual editing, and I felt like I was showing them a smoke-and-mirrors version of myself that would get me the job. I’m pretty sure they saw through all of it.
In the end, I knew I was well qualified, but I didn’t get the job. I reflected on this interview over and over in the years afterward, and I eventually realized that the managers could tell I wasn’t going to fit into an office culture that handled financial reports and where all the employees were married, owned houses, and pursued expensive outdoor weekend hobbies. I wasn’t that kind of person, and they probably hired someone who was.
I’d Much Rather Just Be Myself
That old “Be Yourself!” shtick feels like something out of an after-school special, but in a lot of ways, it’s true.
After that interview I took a job as an electronics editor where my boss was crooked, another job I needed but didn’t want. It was during that time, though, that I thought more about what I really did want to be doing when it came to earning my bill-paying money, which drove me to join the JET Program and go back to Japan, and then to try university teaching, where, for the first time ever, I was completely honest about my goals and interests in a job interview.
When I think about work now, I try to be honest with myself about how I feel about it, along with whether a certain gig would help or hinder me. The side gig that I prepared my CV for in the opening paragraph of this post definitely seems like a good fit, though the other day someone texted me with a full-time Day Job opportunity that definitely wasn’t the direction I wanted to be moving in—so I told them thanks, but no thanks. And that felt really good.
If you find yourself trying to be the person that employers want you to be to get a Day Job, you might consider ways of changing your career path to encapsulate more of the work you really want to be doing, even if it pays less money. That might be a paid position that’s more suited to your creative work and interests, or even a Day Job where you can walk into an interview and say “I’m looking for a paid job while I write/paint/make music/work on my other art,” and where people will think that’s cool.
Both paths, I think, are valuable, and will certainly move you closer to portraying yourself as the person you really want to be.