Reverse Culture Shock and Thoughts on Being Back in the US

In case you didn’t know, reverse culture shock is definitely a thing.

I’ve been back in New Hampshire for just over a week after being delayed by a winter storm that swept through the Northeast the day of my flight.  Fortunately the good folks at Japan Airlines cancelled the flight two days in advance and put me on a new one leaving two days later, so I had plenty of time to assemble a backup plan.

Even more fortunate was that when I promptly emailed my contact at my company to let them know what happened, they let me stay in my company-leased apartment rent-free (!) for an extra two days.  (Moral of the story: Stay on good terms with the people in your company who can help you!)

Whereas my moveouts are usually fraught with last-minute packing, nervous panic, and lack of sleep for the days beforehand, the extra two days turned out to be a blessing in disguise because they gave me more time to pack, mail stuff home via Japanese ocean mail, and wrap up other loose ends like sending money home, cleaning up, and taking the COVID test I needed to board the plane to the US.

All told, I’d give myself a B+ in terms of handling the moveout: I was basically on top of everything, but I certainly could have started earlier and saved myself some hassle.

 

Reverse Culture Shock and Coming Back to the US

I’d been in Japan since July 2018 with only two trips back to the US—long enough to get acclimatized to Japanese life and forget a lot of the things about America that I found just plain annoying.

My first time coming back from living in Japan in 2011, though, was a bigger shock, since things had changed a lot in the two years I’d been gone: most of my friends had gotten better jobs, people had moved, unemployment was up, and smart phones were fast becoming the norm.  It was a lot to take in all at once, and I had a rough few months of adjustment.

This time, though, things have stayed relatively the same. In terms of jobs, living situations, and having kids, my friends and family in New Hampshire were more settled when I left, so in that sense fewer things have changed and the connections I’ve maintained have felt the same as before.

When I started this blog waaaaaaaay back in 2016 I was living with some friends who had an extra room in their house and who I got along with quite well.  They were similarly nice enough to let me stay with them this time around, which has made the transition into familiar surroundings much easier, since I got to avoid things like sight-unseen apartment searching and living in an unfamiliar situation.

Since I’ve been back this time, I’ve mostly been staying put.  One factor in this is that I needed to get my third COVID vaccine shot (which was incredibly easy to schedule!), but also because, more than anything, I just want to lay low and recuperate after a stressful few months.

The third reason, though, is that I’m kind of afraid of what I might find out there.

It’s hard to explain what I mean by this, but it’s mostly a lot of little things.  On my second day I went into the world’s emptiest Rite-Aid where a bunch of old people weren’t wearing masks and I paid with a credit card for the first time in months (don’t forget that Japan is a still a cash country!), using one of those super-slow chip readers that you have to hold the card inside for a long time at an awkward angle.  I also wasn’t used to taking disposable plastic bags (in Japan they cost money!), so I politely declined the clerk’s offer and clumsily put my purchases in my pockets and side bag…which were still absurdly full from the move.  Hardly my finest hour.

Personal interactions have also felt different.  In Japan, I was used to making set plans: I’d text with someone to determine the day, time, and meeting place, which was sometimes down to the minute (“See you at the south exit at 7:04!”) because we were both coming by train.  In America, by contrast, the people around me are much more lax about making plans (“Let’s do something on Saturday and we’ll figure it out later and I’ll text you when I know what I’m doing in the morning and by the way I actually have something else going on so how about we do another day instead?”), which has led to some confusion and frustration.

The biggest thing, though, is that in contrast to the Japanese, Americans are much more…direct about voicing criticism and finding fault with others, or when pointing out when someone’s made a mistake.  Whereas an interaction with a Japanese person might go like this:

Japanese Person: I recently became interested in XYZ topic.

Me: Huh, what’s that?

Japanese Person: Ah… [awkward laugh suggesting that XYZ topic is actually quite common, but politely declining to mention my ignorance directly] it’s a…

Some of my interactions with Americans, meanwhile, have gone more like this:

American Person: I recently became interested in XYZ topic.

Me: Huh, what’s that?

American Person: You’ve NEVER heard of XYZ???? Gosh, I thought everyone knew about XYZ!  It’s been around forever, and it was really popular five years ago.  It was featured on [TV show I don’t watch] and [person I don’t really know] talked about it all the time.  It’s really common, so you should probably look into it.

I’m exaggerating only slightly.

These experiences and others have made me remember some of the troubles I had with mainstream American social interactions back before I left Japan.  Many of these troubles, in one way or another, have made it into my writing (especially MFA Thesis Novel!), so in some ways, being back in this environment has given me some new ideas…

 

How Has Being Back Affected Your Writing/Creative Work?

Time will tell for sure, but early signs look good.

Over the past few months I’ve built up a massive To-Do list of things I’ve been pushing back until I had more time.  Some of these things have been editing-related, but a big chunk of them relate to the early marketing for MFA Thesis Novel, which I’m planning on kicking into full swing over the next few weeks (stay tuned!).

Work on my secret new novel project is still on hold, partly because I want a breather before delving into intense creative work, and partly because I want to shorten my To-Do list so I can better focus.  I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew, and I’m trying to clear things out little by little.

One thing’s for sure, though: I definitely have WAY more time than I did when I was working a Day Job in Japan.  Not only does this mean more time to actually get things done, I get to structure my own time by doing the day’s most intensive or focused tasks (like writing this blog post!) in the morning, then moving on to less important, less demanding, or less time-sensitive ones.  For the most part, this has left me more focused and helped me take care of a lot of tasks in just a week without exhausting myself.

I’ve also been trying to stay wary of the existential angst and overwhelming feelings that come from focusing intensely on my own work for most of the day, rather than on a comparatively low-stakes Day Job.  I’ll definitely write more about this later, and while I’ve been feeling a bit of this angst over the last few days, walking away and giving myself breaks have helped a lot.

 

Final Thoughts: Onwards and Upwards

The next few weeks are going to be a big transition for me as I move from relying on my Day Job as English teacher in Japan to focusing on my writing, creative work, and editing here in America.  A lot of changes have to happen during this time, and a lot has to get done, but I’m looking forward to moving on to this next step as I prepare to release a novel (yay!), expand my web presence (wish me luck!), and even release a new website (what????).

I’m excited for sure, and as always, thanks for following me along the way.