I went through a rough time recently with a Creative Project Whose Name I Won’t Mention Here. This project is a team effort that requires me to work closely with a few other people toward a common goal. Each person has a job, and we worked together to produce something we’re really proud of.
Until one person jumped ship.
Their leaving was pretty gradual: they started out by citing some personal issues and asking for more time, which we were happy to give them. However, a few weeks turned into a few months, during which the person started replying slowly and briefly to messages where I asked for updates, then stopped replying at all.
This put the project in a weird state of limbo, especially since we had other collaborators on the line, promises to keep, and at least one financial-based deadline. Finally, after several weeks of silence, the person admitted that they weren’t able to work on the project anymore because of some personal issues, and formally resigned.
This put us in a pretty terrible position. Said person had agreed to do a major portion of the creative project, and because of their unique skills and the nature of the work they were doing, they weren’t someone we could easily replace. Our production schedule had also been altered to suit what was originally supposed to be the person’s hiatus, and now no one was quite sure what was what.
Fortunately, those who remained stepped up to the challenge, and together we figured out a workaround to put the project back on track—many thanks to my awesome teammates!
The experience got me thinking about what happens when creative collaborations break down, along with the right way and the wrong way to handle them, from both the side of the person leaving and for those left behind. I learned a lot from this situation and hope other people can too, which is why I wanted to share my thoughts.
(Also, for the record, I DEFINITELY don’t hold anything against the person who bowed out—I know they were going through a rough time for pretty legitimate reasons, and I’ve been through my share of rough times too. I do wish they’d handled the situation differently, though, and I don’t think I’d ever work with them again in a creative or professional capacity.)
Anyway, on to the list!
If Someone You’re Working With Doesn’t Deliver…
1. Don’t Get Angry
This is REALLY important. Getting angry leads to fights, which leads to hurt feelings, tense moments, and bad blood for both parties. It also affects the people around you—how often have you known two friends who were fighting, and you weren’t sure whose side to take?
Having someone you’re working with neglect their duties can be frustrating, but you can’t let it get to you. Step back, take a breath, and think before you act, even if it means taking action more slowly than normal.
2. Keep in Touch With the Person
This is more for cases when the person isn’t responding to emails, messages, or calls, rather than cases where they’ve formally bowed out. When people get busy, it can be easier to quote-unquote “forget” about a creative project by putting it to the wayside, which is how creative projects fall apart.
If circumstances warrant, try keeping the MIA person involved by continuing to message them, asking for updates, and letting them know that the project is still very much alive and well. If they don’t respond, try following up—but do it tastefully, and after an appropriate amount of time has passed.
3. Try to Determine the Person’s Status—But Be Understanding
For me, one of the most frustrating aspects of collaboration occurs when I’m not sure whether a person is In or Out. If they’re In, I know they’ll get the work done eventually, and if they’re Out, I know they either have to be replaced, or someone else will have to do the work. Not knowing their status, though, can make decisions IMPOSSIBLE.
In reaching out to the person, try to get a definite answer about their status, but do so in a way that’s not intrusive or nosy. Be professional, and let the person know that you need an answer so you can keep the project moving.
4. Make a Backup Plan
If you sense that the person’s commitment to the project might be wavering (like I did!), let your collaborators know and try to brainstorm backup plans about what to do if the person falls through, so you can set the new plan in motion when the time comes.
5. Try Bringing In Outside Help
Sometimes when someone quits a project, those remaining can do the work themselves—but sometimes they can’t. If your existing team just cant do the work, try asking around to friends and people you know who might be interested by explaining your situation and asking if they can help out in a pinch, since working with your friends can lead to some really strong collaborations.
(Also, this happens in the professional world too: when films go wildly overbudget and need to be cleaned up, movie studios have been known to ask around for replacement directors!)
6. Don’t Hold a Grudge
This is also incredibly important! Just because somebody bowed out of a creative project doesn’t make them a bad person. Try to separate the personal from the professional, and remember that the most important thing is to keep the project moving and ultimately to finish it. Avoid drama, and try to keep any hurt feelings separate from the project itself—and the person.
This list is only half the battle, though: People who need to leave a creative endeavor should keep a few things in mind too….
If You’re Working on a Project and Can’t Deliver…
1. Think Before You Promise Something
This is one of those “could woulda shoulda” moments, but it bears mentioning here. When you’re working with someone and you say “I’m going to get _______ done,” you’re making a promise that other people will rely on. When a person doesn’t deliver on that promise, it can cause big trouble for the people doing the relying.
I have a bad habit of taking on too much, and while I tend to handle these situations by sacrificing personal projects to finish collaborative ones, a better solution is to know your limits, and be careful before committing. If there’s a chance you might not be able to finish, try taking some time to think before saying yes, offering to take on a smaller bit of responsibility, or being clear about your uncertainty so other people will know where you stand.
2. Be Open When Problems Come Up
We’ve all had bad stuff happen—and the majority of people tend to be understanding when it does. If you have a personal issue that you think might interfere with your creative commitments, let your collaborators know! Giving people as much notice as possible that you’re having outside issues will make it easier for them to come up with backup plans, as I noted above!
When outside issues happen, a lot of people tend to get embarrassed or worried what their collaborators will think, and try to handle everything as usual out of a fear of looking bad. Don’t do that!!!!! It’s always better to be honest when you’re having trouble that might affect your other work.
3. Keep in Touch
When other people reach out to you with questions and don’t get a response, it can feel frustrating—infuriating, even. Think about times when you’ve reached out to company customer service lines about problems, only to be juggled between multiple departments and eventually forgotten about. How did that feel?
If you’re not sure how to answer an email, message, or even a direct question, try telling the person you need more time to respond, and let them know you’re still alive. It lets the other person know you haven’t forgotten about them!
4. If You have to Bow Out, Let Your Team Know ASAP
Leaving a project can be hard—and sometimes it takes time to make up your mind. In most cases, though, the earlier you can make the big decision, the better it’ll be for your collaborators who can decide how to proceed without you.
5. Be Honest
When you state your case, be direct, clear, and explain why you’re bowing out. Don’t try to sugar-coat things, or use vague language like you’d find in a company resignation letter (“I regret that I will be unable to fulfill my duties…” etc.), because that just alienates people.
Again, it’s natural to feel embarrassed in these situations, but don’t let that embarrassment create a barrier between you and other people!
6. Finally, Keep in Touch!
It might feel natural to never speak to your former collaborators again, but that just creates more animosity. Instead, check in with them from time to time, keep in touch with them as people, and if circumstances warrant, maybe even offer to help with smaller aspects of the project. And when the project’s finished, offer to share it on your social media and let other people know about it—your former teammates will appreciate it!
Collaborations Fall Apart, But You Can Do It With Class
It’s wrong to blindly label everyone who doesn’t deliver their creative promises as lazy or a bad collaborator, because people bow out for all sorts of reasons. There’s a right way and a wrong way to do it, though, and by doing it the right way, you can support the project, your teammates, and your own reputation.
Because, in the end, everybody runs into trouble sometimes.