I Was Having Problems at My Day Job and Talked to My Boss About It

Yep, this is kind of a serious post.

Things in general haven’t been going well for a while, and I’ve kind of been in denial about it.  My writing’s still stalled, I’ve been way too insanely busy, and I’ve been pushing myself too hard during the week and then crashing hard on weekends.  None of these has been doing me any good.

Apart from all this I’ve been experiencing some pretty bad lows, many of which can be indirectly traced back to the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic.  Even though Japan’s been grappling with the virus far better than the States, over here I still have to deal with cancelled plans, limited activities, and lot of other negative changes.

Here’s a big negative change: I had to cancel my trip back to the States in August, when I was planning on meeting friends, seeing family, and attending my brother’s wedding.  That sucked pretty hard.

Here’s another big one: Because of COVID, the JET Program wasn’t able to bring new foreign teachers to Japan this summer, meaning that my city and a whole lot of others are short-staffed for foreign help.  That means those foreign teachers still in Japan (including me) have more classes to teach and more work to do.

There’ve also been some other problems going on at my Day Job that in the interest of secrecy I won’t talk about here.  While these problems aren’t outrageous or earth-shattering, they’ve been causing me a lot of stress, and they’re just one more thing to add to the pile.

 

Things Got Bad So Gradually, I Didn’t Even Notice

If something really bad happens all at once, like a car accident or furnace explosion, it’s easy to notice it and easier to take action to fix it.  But when a lingering feeling of suckiness sneaks up on you little by little, it’s a whole lot easier to let it get to you.

That’s pretty much what’s been happening to me for the past year or so, and it’s been getting worse since the pandemic started and worse still since the summer, when I missed out on my New Hampshire trip and had to deal with balls-hot Japanese heat (which was all kinds of not fun).  Dang.

I haven’t been sleeping well, haven’t been eating well, and haven’t been feeling well at my Day Job.  I’ve also been feeling constantly busy, constantly behind, and like I couldn’t enjoy my free time because I always had something to do.

Each of these problems also effects the others—if I feel stressed at work, I might eat a bunch of junk food, which means I won’t sleep well, I’ll wake up feeling bad and won’t be able to focus at work, and I’ll fall further and further behind: a dangerous cycle.

In the interest of being honest, I wanted to share the problems I’ve been having as a way of showing that:

1. I’m not invincible, especially in the age of COVID, and
2. When things aren’t going well, it pays to take action to fix them.

So here’s what I did…

 

I Had a Difficult Conversation with My Boss

When things at work started getting worse, I asked some coworkers for advice, and their advice was clear: I should talk to my boss about the problem.

Logistically this was easier said than done: my boss speaks only basic English, and my Japanese is barely passable for basic communication, let alone explaining serious workplace problems.  To remedy this I wrote out everything I wanted to say and translated it into Japanese, which was preferable because my written Japanese is far better than my speaking.  The result was long—eight pages of English and Japanese together.

I was nervous going into the talk for sure, but having everything written out helped a lot.  I focused on the plethora of stresses that were bothering me, and how these were making it difficult to focus on the work problems that I otherwise could have handled myself during a normal year.  At the end of the talk I suggested some possible solutions to the work problems and (this is REALLY important) made it clear that I was open to multiple ways of handling the situation, including the boss’s own ideas.

My boss listened really carefully and asked questions to get more details.  He expressed genuine concern, and wanted to make sure I was doing OK.  He seemed especially grateful for the multiple solutions, and gravitated toward one of them right away.  At the end of the talk, we worked out a plan to make things better and he set it into motion the next day—a key component being that I could teach fewer classes while I de-stressed and got my life back together.

There were definitely some things I wish I’d done differently—the biggest one being that I should have brought a Japanese coworker I trusted to translate rather than trying to convey some pretty complicated problems in a Japanese essay.  Reading everything off the paper felt really formal and also made me more nervous, which then made the entire task more difficult.  There were also some things I wish I’d included in my talk but didn’t, and others that were tangential and should have been taken out.

But primarily, though, is that I should have asked the boss to meet privately, rather than in our main office, since talking in a smaller room with just the two of us would have relaxed both of us and made the entire meeting flow more smoothly.  (Our meeting in the office was partly a result of a miscommunication involving my thinking that there wouldn’t be anyone to cover the phones if the boss left, but even if this was the case I should have at least shut the door to create a more private atmosphere.)

 

What Now?

For the past two weeks I’ve been teaching fewer classes, resolving some Day Job problems, and in general catching up on things I’ve had to do.  I’ve also been eating better, and this has led to me sleeping better and feeling better in general—which has led to an astounding increase in energy, positive thinking, and ability to handle problems.

I’m not out of the woods yet, though, and still have some things to sort out—my writing, and this blog being chief among them.  As a result, you might see me taking some Mondays off from posting (like I did earlier this month…) or experimenting with shorter weekly posts like my Japan photo series.  I have zero plans to abandon this blog, but lately I’ve begun thinking more about how much of my time it should be taking up.

So that’s what’s been going on lately, and I wanted to fill you all in honestly.  I’m REALLY hoping that my experience will encourage people reading (whether they’re in Japan or elsewhere) to take action about problems they’re having at their own Day Jobs or in their personal lives—because it’s not outside your control to do so.

Finally, if you’re worried and want to check in, feel free to comment here or drop me a line—and know that I wouldn’t be posting this if I wasn’t on my way to feeling solid again ;-)