Things That Bring Me Down During COVID-19

I haven’t caught the Coronavirus, nor do I know anyone who has.  I also still have a job, got a $1,200 stimulus check from the US government, and I’m going to get another ¥100,000 yen stimulus (just under $1,000) from the Japanese government in a few weeks.  My part of Japan has had relatively few cases, and almost everywhere in my city has stayed open except for schools—which has given me a lot of extra creative work time.  I also got a haircut yesterday—the barber wore a mask, and since not many people go to that particular barbershop, I felt pretty safe.

In the grand scheme of things I shouldn’t feel sad at all, since there are other people out there who have things way worse than me—but still, I often feel down in the dumps.

If you’re like me and don’t have any of the more serious problems I listed in the opening paragraph, maybe you’re feeling guilty that the comparatively minor problems you do have are getting you down or making it difficult for you to carry on your daily life.  Mental health issues in the COVID-19 era are real and can weigh on you pretty heavily, so they definitely shouldn’t be ignored.

With that in mind, here’s a list of smaller problems I’ve been struggling with since this COVID-19 mess started.  While none of these things on its own has been quite enough to push me into full-blown depression mode, they still make for some heavy burdens when you put them together.

I know a lot of other people are dealing with these problems too, and it’s worth listing them out so we can be more aware of our own mental blockages during these rough times.

 

I Don’t Have Big Plans to Look Forward To

Back in the pre-COVID-19 days I used to plan weekend outings, trips around Japan, and other fun things that got me out of my apartment on a regular basis.  These outings were not only fun, they gave me something to look forward to, with a hopeful vigor that helped get me through the week.

Now, though, I don’t have those planned outings—and the future can feel pretty empty.

 

I Might Not Get to See My Family and Friends This Summer

Just like last year I’d planned a trip back to New Hampshire in August during the Japanese summer break…that’s now in great danger of being cancelled.  As of now, the rules about foreign nationals like me leaving Japan and then re-entering are looking pretty hairy, which means that while it’s easy to go home, it’d be pretty difficult to get back to my Day Job, my stuff, and the life I have over here.

A lot can change before August, and I’m REALLY hoping the US can get its act together so that Japan will start accepting international travelers again.  Still, the nagging worry that I might not be able to see the people I’m closest too this year is hard to ignore.

 

Social Interactions Usually Perk Me Up, and Now I Don’t Have as Many

I teach English in elementary schools, which basically means I get to be silly and play with kids all day…or at least, I used to.  Making kids laugh is one of my favorite things about my job, and it provided me with a BIG positivity boost every day so that I usually came home energized and ready to engage with my creative work.

The same goes for the coworkers and friends I interacted with on a daily basis.  Though these conversations were usually brief, I hadn’t realized how much I missed them until I didn’t have them anymore.  With my level of socializing WAY down since February, not having these interactions means I’m more likely to get stuck in the dumps.

 

I Don’t See New Things Anymore

My apartment only has three rooms, and every day I see the same walls, the same furniture, the same books, and the same views of the same parking lot. After a few weeks this really started getting to me—I just miss seeing new surroundings.

In recent days I’ve been breaking up my shut-in routine with trips to a secluded park bench for reading, and this afternoon I’m planning to ride my bike to the ocean since the weather’s nice and there’s plenty of room to social distance.  Still, I can’t do this every day, and spending the majority of my time in the same apartment is really starting to get monotonous.

 

People I Care About Have Way Worse Problems Than Mine

I know a few people who have lost their jobs, others who can’t get the things they need, still others who are dealing with real financial worries, and a few who are in grave danger of getting sick.

I talk and video chat with the people I care about and try to help them when I can—but when I talk to them, there’s a lot of sadness in the air.  I don’t want to see them going through hard times, and being around it can make me feel worried, pessimistic, and drained.

 

Stuff I Care About is Closing and Getting Cancelled

Back in March my novel publication contract got cancelled.  This month, the owner of the coffeeshop in my hometown announced he was selling the business and that it might be closing forever.  In my inbox and on Youtube I hear about how creators and businesses I love are having a rough time—and this scares me.

If you haven’t already done so, check out my post about supporting creative people and businesses you care about during the crisis—no one knows just how bad this is going to be, and I’m putting up what money I can to give the ones I care about a better chance of making it through.

 

Finally, I Just Worry About the Future

No one knows what’s going to happen or how our lives are going to change as a result of this crisis, and even if nothing big ends up changing, smaller things definitely will, and not knowing exactly how it’ll all end up is…scary.

Maybe that’s why my exact feelings are so hard to pin down most days—because those down moments are caused by a lot of little, more invisible problems.

I hope this post has been helpful—and if there are smaller problems bringing you down too that you want to add, post them in the Comments section, since I guarantee you there are other people feeling the same way.