Two weeks ago I talked about reducing stress and slowing down, a subject that’s been on my mind a lot lately as I work to, well, feel better about things. And getting a decent night’s sleep is a big part of that.
Let me rephrase—when I say “getting a decent night’s sleep” I’m talking about more than just the actual body-rejuvenating sleep I try to get eight hours of per night. I’m talking about an overall end of the night routine that’ll relax me overall, and that includes the part before I actually go to sleep.
So here’s a list of things I do before going to bed—I don’t manage to do all of them every night, but I think of them as general guidelines I like to follow. (On a side note, I once had a friend who kept an elaborate 3+ hour going-to-bed routine from which she never, ever deviated, to the point where she would often leave hangouts early to start her routine so she could get to bed at a reasonable time. I definitely don’t recommend that kind of inflexibility, especially if it starts interfering with other parts of your life—de-stressing is important, but so’s everything else….)
Stop Working
This seems obvious, but it’s actually the most important thing on this list—every weeknight (and every Sunday) I try to stop doing work of any kind 2 hours before I plan to actually go to sleep. I say “try” because it doesn’t always end up that way—recently I’ve been stopping around 90 minutes before sleep time (which I consider pretty reasonable), though sometimes it’s closer to an hour (which feels too late) and occasionally later (which makes me feel like garbage the next morning).
In cases like this, I think it’s better to shoot for an earlier goal (2 hours) and then risk working past it rather than setting a hard stop time (90 minutes) and sticking to it—with end-of-the-night stuff, flexibility and playing it cool is the name of the game, and I want my stop time to reflect that same relaxed mindset.
Take Some Zone Out and Do-Nothing Time
This is something I’ve been doing since high school and it helps me out a lot. Basically, I define chill time as laying down on my bed, staring at the wall, and not doing anything.
The goal here is to just let my mind wander, or reflect on things I’ve been thinking about or that may have come up throughout the evening. The gap helps me separate my daily work time from my end-of-the-night free time, and anything that goes on after zone-out time is distinctly non-work-related—period.
Respond to End-of-the-Night Messages
Ideally I wouldn’t do this, but it’s become an inevitability of my life in Japan. Because I go to bed around the time most East-coasters are getting up and checking their messages, I tend to get a lot of texts right before bed, and during the night. Since I still keep my phone turned off during worktime, I also tend to get a backup of messages during the evening hours—and they can pile up fast.
While replying to stray messages at the end of the night helps reduce the dreaded early-morning text barrage, it also helps me settle that day’s conversations, since anything that goes unanswered at bedtime is just one more message to respond to the next day.
Cut All Phone, Internet, and Screen Time
This is REALLY important—while it’s been shown that staring at screens before bed messes with your eyes in ways that make it more difficult to sleep, I personally find that texting or reading anything online puts me in a frantic, unsettled state where I’m always rushing to get to the next thing (the next message, the next video, the next news article, etc.). Muting the phone and putting the laptop away a set amount of time before bed (as this article also recommends) helps stop my mind from racing—and after that time, any new messages will just have to wait for the next day.
Most nights, cutting off screen time also includes TV and movies, but not always—I enjoy a good movie or episode of something before bed if I’m in the mood. One REALLY important exception to this is Youtube, which I avoid like the plague close to bedtime because having so many freakin’ videos coming at me at once makes it WAY too easy to keep clicking.
Brush My Teeth
This one sounds obvious, but it’s important—not only do I value good dental hygiene (getting cavities sucks), but brushing my teeth is a simple, mindless activity I can do on auto-pilot to keep my hands busy and my mind focused. Not only does it send a signal to my brain that it’s getting close to sleep time, but it also clears away any distractions, especially ones resulting from stray internet use.
Listen to a Chill Song (or Two)
This is my ONE exception to the no-screen time rule, since briefly picking up the phone is the easiest way to get a song going. For the past few years I’ve found myself alternating between a few different before-bed songs that are slow, peaceful, familiar, and put me in a winding-down kind of mood. Here’s a few of my favorites (only a few of which include sweet ’80s and early ‘90s synth):
- Teenage Talk by St. Vincent
- Hug of Thunder by Broken Social Scene
- Captain Jack by Billy Joel
- The New Maybe by The Tragically Hip
- Follow You, Follow Me by Genesis
- Tougher Than the Rest by Bruce Springsteen
- Valkyrie at the Roller Disco by The New Pornographers
- The Leopardman Village Theme from the 1992 PC game Quest for Glory III (this video had like 80 views when I first discovered it and most of the ones since then have come from me)
I keep most of these songs on standby so I can pull them up easily, and try to stop the next song from playing so I don’t accidentally hear a burst of something loud or intense.
Write in My Journal
As I talked about a few weeks ago, journaling helps me sort through personal issues I’ve been dealing with by forcing me to put them into words—which then stops them from nebulously bouncing around my brain in a way that’s stressful and worrisome.
I write lying on my bed with my feet toward the pillow, and use a clipboard or a wide piece of plastic for support. My goal with journaling isn’t to create some groundbreaking piece of perfect writing—it’s just to record the day’s events, how I feel about them, and what I plan to do moving forward.
Read
Not every night, but most nights I pull out whatever book I’m in the middle of and just read from anywhere from 10 to 90 minutes. Some nights I read under the covers as the very last thing I do, and sometimes I start earlier and read for longer, shuffling around the other items on this list. It depends on how I’m feeling, what I’m reading, and how much time I have—but I like making time for a book that matters to me, kind of as a reminder of why I want to write my own books in the first place.
I like reading at the end of the night because I can do it without distractions, in soft light, away from screens (except for my Kindle Paperwhite, which doesn’t have a messenger or web browser), and really get into what I’m reading. It also makes a nice bridge between waking and sleeping, since I can focus on someone else’s thoughts instead of my own.
Remember: I Don’t Actually Do ALL of This Stuff Every Night
Every night’s different, and every night I’m in a different mood and finish my shit at a different time, which means my routine looks a little different every night. The things on this list are go-to’s I like to jump between depending on the day, and I find that overall they help me settle myself rather than serving as a strict bedtime schedule like the one my super-rigid 3+ hour friend followed.
I’m hoping the things on this list might work for you—I especially recommend cutting off screen time an hour before you go to sleep. If nothing else, though, at least check out the sweet zither- and synth-filled ‘90s goodness that is the Quest for Glory III Leopardman Village theme, because it’ll 100% guaranteed make you feel relaxed.
So I totally have an Instagram now where I post cool and offbeat pics from Japan—check it out!
Plus, you know, there’s other ways to follow me too…
But I Also Have a Day Job on Facebook
Occasional Email Update List (I send out cool extra stuff sometimes!)