Two weeks ago I was at a work party with a lot of my Japanese coworkers and some of the higher-ups. As with most Japanese work parties, this one involved a fair amount of drinking, which meant that everyone felt more relaxed, which in turn meant they could have more open and honest conversations.
One of these conversations was with an older coworker who’s not quite my boss, exactly, but is definitely my superior. He asked me about my goals and general life purpose, and as one thing led to another I ended up telling him about my novel writing and showing him this photo of Eikaiwa Bums for sale in an actual bookstore, which interested and excited him in a way that felt genuine.
I wouldn’t have told him these things if I didn’t trust him (at least to some extent), and while he clearly responded positively to my quest, he also seemed confused, since he then asked me the following question in Japanese:
Why do you want to be a novelist?
Now in that moment I possessed neither the clearheadedness nor the Japanese skill to explain this to him properly, but the answer deserves a bit of reflection here, in English:
I want to be a novelist because when I was young, novels not only entertained and moved me, they showed me things about the world, how people behaved, and what life was like. Even now, novels continue to do these things with unexpected regularity, and it’s natural that one would want to work in a medium that’s given them so much, like how someone who loves food would want to become a chef.
Beyond this, however, lies a greater purpose: I want to be novelist to make meaningful contributions to society by creating work that not only entertains people, but teaches them about the world the same way so many other books did for me. In this way, I can pass on something meaningful.
Then there’s the idea of style and form, and what novels can be—like how one novel can be radically different from another not only in terms of its plot, but in terms of the experience one has in reading it, like how Light in August is put together in an entirely different manner than Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, which is different from The Bell Jar and Lolita or A Confederacy of Dunces. That the writers of these novels, and so many others, were able to take a recognizable form and rework it in new ways is fascinating to me, as it’s also fascinating that so many other writers were then able to read these works and countless others to get new ideas about what a novel could be. This is how literature continues to evolve, diverge, and embody new forms to capture new kinds of stories.
In this sense, too, the act of sharing your writing contributes to an invisible conversation where others learn what writing and novels can do, and to contribute meaningfully to this conversation is also incredibly important to me.
All of these ideas—the creating, the sharing, the adding to the invisible conversation—are the same for artists in any field, and creating meaning in this way is a goal I feel inherently invested in.
These are the things I couldn’t explain to my older co-worker/not-quite boss in Japanese over drinks at a Friday-night party.
Why Do You Want to Do the Work That You Want to Do?
This is a question worth asking, whether it’s creative work like writing, music, or illustration, or work of literally any other kind. Do you want to do this work for your own benefit, because you’re not sure what other work you’re capable of, or because you feel like you have to live up to society’s standards? Or, do you have some greater purpose for wanting to do that work?
Take some time right now—like, literally, right now—to answer this question honestly. Then, write the answer down and keep it somewhere, whether it’s in a drawer, on your wall, on your phone, or somewhere online (like I’m doing right now), to remind you.
It pays to be honest, and it pays to keep your goals in mind so you don’t get lost. Don’t ever lose sight of what drives you forward.
Oh yeah, before you go…
But I Also Have a Day Job on Facebook
My Instagram where I post cool pics from Japan